Howdy! Merry Christmas. And fireplaces are really glamorized again (even in countries where there are no fireplaces!). Well, for one thing, today is that single day in a year when kids all over the world are expecting one visitor – Santa Claus.

We all know of the story of this fat guy in red suit, secretly climbing down our chimneysto leave behind presents for good kids. As a kid once, I have loved indoor fireplaces for two simple reasons: mom usually reads me children’s storybooks before the fireplace in the living room and every Christmas (at least for every year before I turned 13) I always receive a gift from Santa and mom tells he comes-in through our fireplace.

A couple of hours ago I was the one in-charge to give Christmas stories to my nephews. I wanted to tell them something new (and yet, still child-friendly) so I made-up this entire story on how Santa climbs down the chimney! Let me share with you portions of my story:

Me:
1. Contrary to what we all assume, Santa doesn’t land immediately on our roof. After landing his sleigh on the ground, Santa inspects the house we are in and assess how he is able to get in. Well, the chimney is usually the easiest and most preferable option since Christmas trees are often placed a few feet away from the fireplace hole. Sometimes, Santa slowly opens windows or unlocks doors with his pocket knife. In worse cases, Santa even squeezes himself through the cat door!
Arthur (5years old):
2. Poor Santa! Why wouldn’t he just come while we are awake, so we can open the door for him? And maybe give him hot chocolate.
Cindy (8years old):
3. No silly! If he does that, then it wouldn’t be a surprise anymore. Dad said Santa loves surprises.
Me:
4. Yes Arthur, Cindy is right. But more importantly, Santa prefers the fireplace for several reasons. First, it’s warm. Imagine Santa flying from the North Pole in an open sleigh in the middle of winter! Second, going down the chimney doesn’t disturb anyone, especially those who are tired from the season’s merriment. So, they need not to wake-up to open the window or door for Santa. Santa took the initiative!

Arthur:
1. Uncle! Uncle! (Yawning now) How does Santa manage to climb down the chimney?

Me:
1. Well, you see, Santa is a big man. And he has a sack full of goodies. Chimneys are narrow and dark. But Santa has mastered to overcome these obstacles, just so you get your gifts, so behave and be good OK?)
Now, Santa might be fat but he is quick! You remember his red suit? It is made of frictionless material which becomes very slippery when in contact with stone, brick, concrete or metal. This helps Santa slide down the chimney effortlessly.
Cindy:
1. Doesn’t he make a sound when he lands on the fireplace floor? It should have waken me up!

Me:
1. You remember Cindy that Santa carries with him him a sack of goodies? It is made of the same material as his suit. Santa lands on it. Using simple Physics, Santa can land with the slightest “thud”! But of course, Santa also gets some bruises and small cuts, but he considers these as occupational hazards. His wife, Mrs. Claus, usually takes care of his bruises. Well, it heals before New Year comes, though.

Well, that’s the end of my story. Arthur fell asleep before the conclusions. But I got Cindy into believing me! So much of Christmas and indoor fireplaces. You can email me for the full version of the story. Just leave a comment below. Good night everyone!